Late Bloomer - EP

by Jordan Thornquest

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manstrmosh An angsty, confused, lost EP that expresses its frustrations in such a reasonable and friendly manner, exposing some intensely personal and crushing truths from Jordan's personal life. It's self aware, exciting, unpredictable, and ends on a mile-high note of noise, energy, and confidence. One of the best releases of 2017 from the Idaho scene and the best release I've ever heard out of Twin Falls. Favorite track: Late Bloomer.
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05:08
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04:14
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04:10
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about

I’m in a weird place in my life right now.

For the first time, I’m facing a lot of things about myself that I never dared to address before: specifically, I’ve never really considered the depth or meaning of my relationships with other people, whether platonic or romantic.

I’m coming to grips with the fact that I have a few severe emotional & mental deficiencies when it comes to how I view myself, alone & around other people. Even worse, I am completely incapable of being platonic towards people I’m attracted to, or even simply stable around people I admire. I don’t know how to interact around them, to treat them like normal people, or even just to try & ignore them, and it destroys me. I have zero mental stability towards my own sexuality, needs, wants, or self care.

I feel like I'm experiencing & figuring this all out a little too late. And at this moment, I just need someone to listen. Thank you for taking the time to do so: this album is my first attempt at understanding myself.

"When someone feels sorry, at least you know for sure that they care
Then they try to direct you, you turn your back, and they're no longer there
Fields of wildflowers will brave seasons, with roots grown over time
But tend the late bloomers, shelter them, or else they start die"

All I really want is a hug, right now. Until then, I think saying these words should help a little.

credits

released December 1, 2017

Written, recorded, and produced by Jordan Thornquest.
Album artwork by Eli Stonemets.

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all rights reserved

tags

about

Jordan Thornquest Twin Falls, Idaho

So far out of the box, but not so far out of my mind. Musician, producer, local music promoter, & proud corgi dad.

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Contact Jordan Thornquest

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Track Name: Man, Seeking Pity
I know that you mean well
I know what you're trying to say
I don't really want your help
I don't want healing that way

I don't want your good advice
All I ask is you'll keep still
I just need to hear my voice
Do you have some time to kill?

Changes only takes place when you put your feelings on the shelf
But please just let me have this, I want to feel sorry for myself

She can have whoever she wants
I know that life's not fair
People get to choose who they want
But losing her still makes me scared

You say "Oh honey,
Everyone knows what it's like to get hurt"
I know you want to lift me up
But right now, the truth just hurts

When someone feels sorry, at least you know for sure that they care
Then they try to direct you, you turn your back, and they're no longer there
Fields of wildflowers, brave seasons, with roots grown over time
Tend the late bloomers, shelter them, or else they start die
Track Name: Late Bloomer
Wake up later as the week draws on
To crush your spirit & your bond
As every smile pulls you deeper

Takin’ orders while you do your work
Fuck feelings, make it so it hurts
It's cliche, make it feel cheaper

'Cause what you want doesn't really matter
But you can't stop, wishin' that you had her

It's not good to feel this way
To not move on when she's had her say
It's not her job to be polite
When you're a kid who's not alright

The touch I seem to crave is just my
Distractions that I caved to, made by
A brain that claims that I can't live without it
For her sake I should be over this
But look how much I fuckin’ wrote for this
How much longer before I figure this out!?

Take your time
Workin' through your heartbreak is a lonely climb
Too fast & you could fall & lose your mind
You'll feel better if you take your time

Tell yourself to go for someone else
To try the girl that also counts
As someone that you said you might like instead

Oh, fuck it, be honest with yourself
She deserves to be with someone else
Don’t waste her time or younger years

On something that will only end in tears
Track Name: Little One
Little one,
You are the reason I can face the sun
Little one,
I'm a little less aimless when I see you run

Child of mine,
You know it brings me peace to see you shine
But Child of mine,
I'd be lying to you if I said I was fine

Don’t worry, though
There’s nothin’ you could do
You already give me what little I ask of you and
When I’m stuck at home
You get me out of bed
Your life is the one worth keepin’
I don’t want to be the reason you end up dead

Entry one
I found somebody who’s pulled me undone
Entry ten
I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love again

Little one,
Don’t worry, your father isn’t givin’ up
I’m sorry little one
There’s only so much a pet can do for someone

You’ve done all you can
I couldn’t ask for more
One day I’ll give back to you
When I pick my body off the floor
And my heart is crashing into my brain
Burning all my common senses
Leaving me insane
Track Name: Broken Brain
Broken brain, you made a mess out of me again
I tried my best just to be a friend, and now I'm out of control

Childhood friend, I want so badly for all this to end
Just to feel like I don’t have to bend,
And fold to fit my given role

How many times can I blame my mind
In order to never have to change
How many times do you have to say
That everything's okay
Before I learn that it can stay that way?

Giving up, because I feel I didn't give enough
I wore you down & didn't ever let up
Do you think of me less?

Stuck in place, it's so much easier to ask for grace
To plead forgiveness but to never change
To hope that pity heals stress
Track Name: The Happiest Man in Town
I didn't think I'd have to write this yet
But have you read the morning news?
I’m now the smiling face of my hometown
Ruled by racist country & the blues

I’m really no better than anyone else ‘round here
But I’d planned to start out with my best foot forward for you
I’m flattered you’d look up to me
But surprise, I have no idea what to do

Everybody, let’s get down
With the happiest Man in town
How can he not be a little bit proud
With a voice so clear and loud
A straight-edge catalyst for fun
Never drank til 21
Clearly he knows what to do
So give us your point of view

This mornin’s meal was had at 2PM
I only got up to take my dog outside
My mind is full of things I’m putting off
‘Till I decide I’m worth their time

But please don’t worry that I’m not doing well
When the big rush starts, and I’m on stage
When the crowd looks, and my voice matters
I’ll come alive & act my age

Hello, there!
I’m a voice of small town rage
If you’re in charge, I’m here to rattle your cage
And send you boys a message, from the man who’s now in charge

So you’re all afraid of a little noise?
Of loud, angry girls & boys
Of a vision of a precious town, with meth problems & plenty of guns

Come on! Sad kids will never seen the sun
In a city that doesn’t believe in fun?
Who thinks that happiness & health is a prize to be won?

Surprise, the kid you gave keys
Will drive right through your ancient knees
Into your city with our favorite song turned up all the way!

Let’s burn this town of apathy
With just our voice & energy!
Brought by boredom & misery
You’ll have to bury me!

(During chorus)

Hello there, I’m new to pain
But I’m over that, I’m back again
Hello there, I’m new to purpose
Thanks to that, I don’t feel worthless

Hello there, I’m over you and
Thanks to you, I’m feeling human
Hello there, I’m new to sorrow
But now my tears are dry,
And I’ll be back tomorrow